“When we are in the trance of unworthiness, we’re not aware of how much our body, emotions, and thoughts have locked into a sense of falling short and the fear that we’re going to fail. The trance of unworthiness brings us to addictive behaviors as we try to soothe the discomfort of fear and shame. It makes it difficult to be intimate, spontaneous and real with others, because we have the sense that, even if they don’t already know, they will find out how flawed we really are. It makes it hard to take risks because we’re afraid we’re going to fall short. We can never really relax. Right in the heart of the trance, there is a need to do something to be better, to avoid the failure lurking right around the corner.” – Tara Brach, Author of Radical Acceptance (and much more…)
I applied for a program being offered by Seth Godin recently. It was an intensive, two day publishing course at his office – and it was free. They were only accepting 8 participants and as you can imagine the number of people applying would be very high so my chances of being accepted were the opposite, not very high at all – about 8 in 1,000.
I found out today that I didn’t get accepted.
I do not consider myself to be a failure for not having been accepted; we both know that my chances of being accepted would have been much lower had I not applied!
What is it that you would like to do, and why are you not doing it? The perception of safety is just that, a perception. Over-analysis causes paralysis; you can always find a rational reason NOT to do something. You can always limit your beliefs by what happened in the past or by the story someone tells you about what happened to them. Don’t believe either one of them, they are just perceptions of the reality created by a limiting belief – that “trance of unworthiness”, that fear of failure.
Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real
What are you waiting for; start now, join now, move forward now, sing now, ride now!
“It’s hard to know whether to laugh or to cry at the human predicament. Here we are with so much wisdom and tenderness, and—without even knowing it—we cover it over to protect ourselves from insecurity. Although we have the potential to experience the freedom of a butterfly, we mysteriously prefer the small and fearful cocoon of ego.”
– Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You
In cycling and in life we often interpret current events and predict what will happen tomorrow based on what happened yesterday, last week, last month, ten years ago or perhaps even by what happened to someone else. And yet, if we stop and think about it for a second we realize it doesn’t have to be that way. Each person’s circumstance is unique, and even our own circumstances and therefore potential result are also unique. We create limiting beliefs based on nothing more than experiences, either our own or someone else’s, the hold us back from accomplishing the great things we are capable of.
If we look hard enough we can always talk ourselves out of something.
If we look hard enough we can always create a reason not to do something.
If we look hard enough and don’t find a reason not to do something we can always find someone who will convince us not to do something.
Personal progress does not occur by magic. The magic has already happened, we exist; the rest is up to us.
Part III tomorrow.
“Well, its a lot like walking into the ocean, and a big wave comes and knocks you over. And you find yourself lying on the bottom with sand in your nose and in your mouth. And you are lying there, and you have a choice. You can either lie there, or you can stand up and start ti keep walking out to the sea.
So basically you stand up because the “lying there” choice equals dying.
Metaphorically lying there is what a lot of us choose to do at that point. But you can choose to stand up and start walking, and after a while another big wave comes and knocks you down.
You find yourself at the bottom of the ocean with sand in your nose and sand in your mouth and again you have the choice to lie there or to stand up and start walking forward.
So the waves keep coming. And you keep cultivating your courage and bravery and sense of humor to relate to this situation of the waves, and you keep getting up and going forward”
Advice given to Pema Chodron by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Please look for Part II tomorrow.